Intrinsic Hatred
by darken-the-legends
Summary: "She cries then - Blacks don't cry; she blames him. And then she vows revenge." People always forget - Bellatrix Lestrange didn't just spring out of nowhere insane and hating Sirius Black. Bella x Sirius, kind of one-sided. Dark themes. 'Intrinsic' universe.


**Hey! So, recently I've become caught up in this canon universe I've been writing in about the Black family (marauder's generation). This is the first part I've actually posted. Hope you like!**

Siri is 6 and Bella is 14. She's babysitting the other four children; two girls – her sisters – and two boys – her cousins. The Blacks, inseparable from each other – after all, they haven't chosen sides yet. They don't even realise the concept.

Narcissa is ten and already considers herself an adult; she watched Andromeda play with little Regulus with a disdainful, aloof expression, one that she's learnt from Druella Black – her mother. Bella often wears it, too: people are already scared of her, and that's supposed to be a good thing, right?

Honestly, she's trying to be good and live up to her parents' expectations, but her life is so _boring_ and _stiff_ and it practically suffocates her. No one would understand… no. Dark eyes roll themselves at her in derisive, bitter amusement; as if they know instinctively what traitorous thoughts she'd having.

Okay, maybe someone understands.

XxXxXxXxX

He's the only person she'd ever met, even at such a young age, with that wild, constant energy; he's full of laughter and _life_ and he's so carelessly good-looking and uncannily intelligent for a nine-year-old, skilled at everything, even at this age. It's lucky he's the Black heir. Bella would've murdered anyone less.

But he's only a child still, even as time stretches on and there's just so much pressure on her to marry Lestrange and 'continue the Black bloodline'.

He eyes her like her beauty makes her an object that he owns, and she hates it.

Oh, if Sirius were older… his dark humour makes her laugh and he's rebellious but she doesn't look down on him for it. She admires him, and there's something just so _right_ with the world when it's just the two of them. Best friends even though they're eight years apart.

And then it happens – the event that will change her. When she's introduced to him for the first time – she can't even remember who it was, but Voldemort eclipses everything. There's this reckless, indefinable energy about him… almost what Siri has.

Not quite.

But so much more attainable, at this stage. It's like her drug.

She marries Lestrange, but she'll never love him – her family are the only people she can really conceive loving (except maybe Voldemort) and then she gets the horrible, unthinkable news.

Siri is in Gryffindor. The little rebel broke out of their horrible society – they used to do everything together, but she's still there, damn it, with no idea how to do what he has done and _he left her behind._

XxXxXxXxXx

She barely sees him for five years – being a Death Eater fills her heart and mind, because for everything that's wrong and twisted with them, they haven't betrayed her yet.

Whereas he didn't even show for her wedding, fake as it was.

But – oh, Merlin, because it's totally unexpected but he's at this party for the elite, this masquerade ball, but she knows it's him the second he enters the room, still masked. It's even worse – her heart, her heart that is supposed to be cold and frozen towards him is alive and beating furiously and later when they slip away, there no words. None but their names – entwined forever. She's married and 24 and he's only sixteen but it's so _right. They're_ so right.

She could forgive him everything.

But, predictably (it's her after all, and her life always was a disaster) he's vanished in the morning and never comes back even to say goodbye. And, later, when Lestrange hits her, she swears revenge – she will get him back because he left her and she gave everything to him and then he discarded her like trash again.

She cries then – Blacks don't cry; she blames him. Bawls with salty water sliding down her ice-cold cheeks.

And then she vows revenge.

xXxXxXxXxX

In Azkaban she hears screams.

Howls of renewed souls and changed hearts; lies, all – those people aren't even sane enough to know what they're saying – and she sneers at them for disloyalty but _she_ was faithful. She never ever abandons people and she'll be rewarded, right?

But she still begins to waste away – then she knows he's there, because there's clarity in the dark recesses of her min, burning the pain away and making it anew.

She sees him briefly, a snatched glance, but he looks older – he should be, he shouldn't be in here – worn, not carefree but haggard and haunted.

She feels venomous – serves the bastard right – but she's so terribly lonely and she misses her Siri and loves him and can't help wondering where he is… he's with her again and that's all she needs. She can forgive him.

Until the buzz of his presence isn't there any more – he's left. He's gone. The screaming starts up again. And the pain.

(Bellatrix Lestrange goes slowly insane.)

xXxXxXxX

She's no idea what Andi named her daughter, but she's no match for Bella – really, she's not sure why she spared her – remorse, maybe? But that has no place in Bella's heart any longer.

Does Siri?

And then he appears, so _good_ , darling _Gryffindor_ – noble, brave – lions live short lives, she thinks savagely. But – no – it's Siri – she'll kill him – what? And then she sends a Stunning Spell at him, not hard, and then he falls through the veil and she's

(so fucking stupid).

All she sees is red.

She killed Sirius Black she killed Sirius Black she killed Sirius Black she killed Sirius Black…

Is she a crazy, masochistic bitch?

Yes.

xXxXxXxXx

She knows, then... they won't win. They can't win, no one can, they've all lost… Siri's dead.

And she can barely look at Voldemort – that lustrous spark is gone, stripped away, burnt out, eclipsed by the roaring fire that was Sirius Black.

 _Cry me a river of tears…_ well, damn, has she come close.

She hardly knows where she is – she _wants_ to be far far away – lost in seemingly idyllic childhood – _run, Siri,_ she'd tell him. _Get out, get away, because I'm insane and heartless and you'll die. You'll all die._

But what's done is done – the screams still haven't stopped, though, or the pain. Whywhywhywhywhy?

She's not trying; she might be laughing, she doesn't know and doesn't care when the curse hits its mark and Bella ends up

(Dead.)

Oh, it's a relief.

She thanks the woman who did it. She's been waiting her whole life for this.

Seeing Siri again.

 **Review?**


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